I fell in love with music for the first time at age (?Small?) when Christina Aguilera released her very first album. Each one of her albums have gotten me through the toughest moments in life, especially when I contemplated suicide for the first time in the 5th grade. If it wasn’t for the song “The voice within” blaring on repeat every night in my ikea featured bedroom. I sat on my floor, listening through my Walkman just overly emotional behind the pen and in front of the paper.
Christina, You influenced me to be true to myself during your “Stripped” album. The song “Walk Away” empowered my internal flame for womens rights right away, being sexualized at such a young age. I had all this anger inside me but your loud ass blaring belting beautiful voice said all I needed to in tune. I would write out your lyrics, never missing a word because it was exactly how I felt inside. Like a little girl trying to grow up and break free but men try to “Hold us down” as you say in your song “cant hold us down”. The rap part with EVE, ugh i wanted to be right there beside you two preaching what needed to be said. Why can a man have 5 chicks and be praised for it but when a girl has 4 shes a whore and shes degraded?
Looking back, the funniest moment in my life was also the most crucial moment for me. My best friend at the time loved you just as much as I did. She is the friend I fell in love with long long ago. Babydoll. We would put on concerts of our own, throwing the CD into the boombox and shouting our hearts out through the nodules on our vocal chords. My mom and dad were always there, with my 2 brothers in the “front row” which was on the end of the bed backed up against the closet, barely enough room for babydoll and I to put on our concert. EVERY. SINGLE. SONG.
EVERY. SINGLE. WORD.
EVERY. SINGLE. BEAT
We knew it all and boy was our drama icing to the show. Our outfits im sure were on point.
One day we decided it would be cool to get other people to come to our show so we made flyers and knocked door to door to hand them out to every household on the block. Two little 7 or 8 year old girls handing flyers out to strangers telling them to meet up somewhere. WTF was i thinking…
We practiced for a good hour and drank the pink lemonade my mother prepared for us before our big moment. We had chairs but we did not have bodies. The only person that showed up to listen was my mother. And looking back now I see how important my mother was to me on this jouney. She told me to listen to “The voice within” the first time and I fell in love with it. If she understood it enough to have me like it then she understood me. My mother has always been one down ass bitch. I love her with every muscle I have to squeeze her cute little face off!
The song after “the voice within” i couldnt bare to listen. The begining intro was a scene and it was like I was in a box feeling everything she had felt. Pain. Hurt. Anger. fucked up fathers. Abuse. “Im OK” was the name of the song.
“Every morning that I wake, I look back at yesterday…and Im OK”
LIFE SUCKED. family sucked. people close to me hurt me really bad but your music kept me strong and boy did i become resilient because you told me I am a “Fighter”.
I love you Christina, and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking such familiar words into my soul. Thank you for being the best friend to me. I didn’t need to know you because I knew your emotions through your songs. You were like a sister I never had. I admire you and I adore the life you created for yourself in spite of the struggle. You did it girl and its motivation to my fire everytime I see you coming out with new shit.
Especially singing with Demi Lovato whom I am going to make an open letter to also. EMPOWERING WOMEN!! I love you Xtina 🙂
Love and Rage,