Have you ever wanted something so badly?

Like an itch you can’t scratch.

A craving

so sweet,

My teeth jump in my mouth for excitement.

A high an user feels

when that medication

runs through your veins

and portrays

An alternate universe; where

Your thoughts can

rest on a wave

and crash


from the chaos.

An open self-inflicted wound

a cutter amuses

herself with

to abuse

her body

for confusing

love with sex.

Dinner and an empty bag of chips

and to top it all of with

a Dr. Pepper and king sized twix;

But the guilt is mixing

in my gut with

the 2600 calories I just

ate 20 minutes ago.

Now I must,


my feelings

from a body I am

supposed to trust.

A drunken night

Filled with lust and despite for

How much I drank,

I can never thank

The trigger enough for making

Me dizzy on self-hate.

Spewing the stench into your face

I try to escape

By the bottle;

But it swallows me

Whole and I’m told

I’m a sucker for pain.

I’ll distort the thought

Of being taught

These actions bring happiness.

For it’s my mess,

I’ll confess:

It’s not working.

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