Have you ever wanted something so badly?
Like an itch you can’t scratch.
A craving
so sweet,
My teeth jump in my mouth for excitement.
A high an user feels
when that medication
runs through your veins
and portrays
An alternate universe; where
Your thoughts can
rest on a wave
and crash
away
from the chaos.
An open self-inflicted wound
a cutter amuses
herself with
to abuse
her body
for confusing
love with sex.
Dinner and an empty bag of chips
and to top it all of with
a Dr. Pepper and king sized twix;
But the guilt is mixing
in my gut with
the 2600 calories I just
ate 20 minutes ago.
Now I must,
Regurgitate
my feelings
from a body I am
supposed to trust.
A drunken night
Filled with lust and despite for
How much I drank,
I can never thank
The trigger enough for making
Me dizzy on self-hate.
Spewing the stench into your face
I try to escape
By the bottle;
But it swallows me
Whole and I’m told
I’m a sucker for pain.
I’ll distort the thought
Of being taught
These actions bring happiness.
For it’s my mess,
I’ll confess:
It’s not working.
Misunderstood InSaNiTy 